(mis)-connection

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(mis)-connection

Today I feel very lonely.  I have not had a real talk with a good friend in months.  I chit-chat with coworkers and acquaintances, but it is not the same.  I do not have the same feeling of being understood and having made a connection with someone with these mundane talks.

It all started with me.  After breaking up with one of my best-friend, I decided to give my heart a break to give it time to heal. I choose to be social but to be emotionally unavailable.  I thought the way to get a strong heart was to keep it away from passions that might burn it.  Surely, as the months and years passed, people sensed that I was not willing to let them in my life.  Those who wanted to be friends stayed friends, yet I guarded my heart away from them.

Now, I have come to regret this decision.  People have drifted away, and I feel so lonely.  It is hard and awkward to re-kindle old friendships.  So much has happened since I took the break, and people no longer feel connected to me.  It is too much work for them to befriend me on a deeper level.

However, I am decided. I want friends, I want a support group, I want laughter, I want good memories.

I need to open up to life and trust people again.

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About The jubilant sister

I am a soul in search of happiness, peace, health, and love. I am open to new cultures, people, experiences, and points of view. This blog is mostly about my self-discovery journey . I will talk about things that infuriate me, that delight me and that worry me. Please feel free to comment on my posts or to contact me. Until then take care. F

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